So y’Know that court clerk down in Kentucky who doesn’t want to issue marriage licenses because some same sex couples might be getting married? And she’s worried about going to hell for violating the Bible? Turns out she has nothing to worry about.

The Kentucky county clerk facing potentially stiff penalties for refusing to issue same-sex marriage licenses has been married four times, raising questions of hypocrisy and selective application of the Bible to her life. 

The marriages are documented in court records obtained by U.S. News, which show that Rowan County Clerk Kim Davis divorced three times, first in 1994, then 2006 and again in 2008.
She gave birth to twins five months after divorcing her first husband. They were fathered by her third husband but adopted by her second. Davis worked at the clerk’s office at the time of each divorce and has since remarried.

So she’s violating the biblical principles against divorce. Wait, what was that last paragraph again?

So she divorced hubby 1 to marry hubby 2, but somewhere right in the midst of that, shtups future hubby 3, gets pregnant with twins, doesn’t tell hubby 2, who adopts the kids, then divorces him to marry the guy who fathered the twins, but then later divorces hubby 3 and marries hubby 4.

So let’s see, we got divorce, we got fornicatin’ and we got lying your ass off about who fathered your children. Lady, you can skip the waiting list and go right down there and see the guy with the pitchfork right now. You’ve got enough frequent sinner miles that you can fly first class straight to hell. The gay marriage license thing ain’t gonna move that needle even one little bit. You’re there.

Also very amusing is the comment from her lawyer when asked about the multiple marriages:

The leader of the organization providing her legal representation, Mat Staver of Liberty Counsel, says he’s not sure precisely how many husbands Davis has had, but that it’s not relevant.

“I know she was married more than once – I’ve heard three [times],” he says. “It’s a matter of fact that she’s been married multiple times.”
Staver says “it’s not really relevant, it’s something that happened in her past” and that her conversion to Christianity about four years ago wiped her slate clean. “It’s something that’s not relevant to the issue at hand,” he says. “She was 180 degrees changed.”
In a Tuesday statement released by Liberty Counsel, Davis admitted she had lived an imperfect life, but insisted her current beliefs are sincere. 
“It is not a light issue for me,” she said. “It is a heaven or hell decision.”

OK. This whole “wiped the slate clean” thing is a problem for me. With all due respect to deeply religious people, this is my problem. I always hear “I found God, I came to Jesus, and he forgave me. So those old sins no longer count.” Until, a day or a week or a month or a year or a decade later, the person sins again. And then they ask for forgiveness. And God gives it to them. Again.

Two questions: this God seems a lot more permissive to these repeat sinners than these folks are about gays or liberals or women getting an abortion. What’s up with that?

Second, can someone find me one person who has said: “I found God. I asked for her forgiveness, and she told me to go straight to hell. My sins were too numerous and too profound for her”? I mean, come on, look at the world, there’s some really, really bad stuff going on. Surely there have to be some sins, some hypocrisy, some level of debased hatred that is more than God can stand. Right?

Or if the answer is that God can forgive anything if you’re sincere in your heart about atoning, OK, well surely some of these people just aren’t sincere. How many people do we encounter in our daily lives who make us crazy with their insincerity, their dishonesty, their hypocrisy? Surely God has to have some limit to how much bullshit she can put up with before saying “just step through that door over there, go down the steps, and when it gets really, really hot, you’ll see another door. Go through it and have a great eternity with no air conditioning.”

If this is what passes for religious liberty, then we might as well throw in the towel on this whole exercise right now, because we are going to be overrun by self-righteous pious frauds claiming that the laws don’t apply to them because “I saw a vision of Jesus telling me that it was perfectly fine to drive my Buick 125 miles an hour through a playground and if those children couldn’t move out of the way fast enough, well, that too was part of God’s plan, and you can’t prosecute me because I believe, I believe, I believe.”

Thanks, Supreme Court, for not squashing this nonsense when the Hobby Lobby case was heard. Anything for the cause of conservatism, huh? Seemed like a smart idea at the time, right? Not feeling so smart now, are you, guys?